I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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