Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
