they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
