her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
