"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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