she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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