You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
