doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My liver just had a heart attack.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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