when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
