I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
