K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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