Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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