my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
