the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
