She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
