doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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