after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
