North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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