Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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