the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
