so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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