You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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