Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
