do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
