So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
