Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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