Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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