i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
