White coat. Heels.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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