I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
