Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
