this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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