she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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