I skipped work to stalk him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
pray to the hookup gods
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize