Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I deserve this hangover.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
