FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
