I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
