he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
