She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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