can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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