Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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