fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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