If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
