so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
