there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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