I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
