We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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