Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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