I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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