After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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