none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize