haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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