The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.