I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
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Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.