I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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