I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
