When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
