did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
