i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
