I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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