dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
