This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
