I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
then he tried to convert me to islam
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
