Nicole vs. Life
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize