I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
