Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can I color on your dick again?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
