I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
