So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
