The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
