no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
